Women

‘I’m 38 and divorced so why do men in their 20s want to date me?’

Any age 26056

Nothing unusual, you might think — but what if I tell you Shirley is 74? This is an age better suited to slippers than sex — or so society would have us believe. Her lust for life and high hopes for love is infectious and reflects a surprisingly common mindset among older women who discover they have a renewed interest in sexual intimacy later in life. But I have been particularly struck by the number of single seventysomethings who are in search of a loving and intimate relationship. So is it any wonder that now they are reaching their 70s, sex is still important, however much that might make the younger generations squirm? Dame Helen Mirren, 72, famously admitted to only finding true sexual fulfilment later in life. Pictured, Shirley Livingstone, 74, has tried dating through agencies but hasn't found anything serious. The increase in late-life divorce, and the surge of sixty and seventysomethings seeking new partners, shows that although desire may diminish during an old, familiar relationship, it can be rekindled with someone new — no matter your age.

Allow a question about relationships and femininity for seniors? Every month in Femininity at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions a propos everything from loss of desire en route for solo sex and partner issues. Naught is out of bounds! I benefit from my vibrator, but I miss the feeling of skin on skin after that the embrace of another body. I want to feel exciting and agitated. Sometimes I wish I could a minute ago have a man in bed designed for an afternoon when I want him, then have him go away. Is that sexist, treating a grown be in charge of like a boy toy?

Designed for women over 30, dating can be a minefield. There are fewer definite people generally, and yes, there bidding be some men your age distinctively seeking out younger women. We animate in a society that worships by the altar of youth — above all when it comes to women. Actually, because women have primarily been appreciated for their beauty, a concept acutely rooted in ideas of youth, women are socially devalued as they acquire older. These deeply gendered value systems normalise older men seeking out younger women, because if we value men for what they acquire, and act towards women as objects, of course a few men are going to view women as another symbol of their category, and want the most desirable archetypal.

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W hen a divorced woman on the wrong side of 45 with a brace of kids began to carve about her experiences of being definite last week, she opened her blog with the extraordinary statement that she was in relationship no man's acquire, condemned to be alone for the rest of her life. The dull woman, whose blog is called The Plankton, is not alone in believing that there are problems specific en route for being a single woman in average age. A survey this month bring into being eight out of 10 women above 50 think they have become concealed to men. Seven out of 10 women in the study felt overlooked by the fashion industry, while three-quarters of women in their 60s believed they had lost their identity as a result of being labelled as a mum. Women and men are living longer after that fitter lives; the average age by which we divorce is rising — 41 now for women and 43 for men — and the add up to of single parents is projected en route for rise to 1. There is a new demographic of confident and knowledgeable women, at their sexual peak at the same time as far as science is concerned, who would like to find a affiliate. But life, friendship and love designed for the single woman in her mids and beyond has its own actual complications and sorrows.

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